Bloody Finger

I don't have pictures to go with this story so I am sorry. This story was on my mind because I told it to some friends at work the other day. I don't want to forget any of these funny memories that I have so I will try and write them as often as I can.

This happened after my parents had moved to St. George. I was living in the house with Linda, her kids, Shelley, her husband John, and their kids. Shelley and John lived down stairs and Linda lived in the other house (next to the family room). Let me tell you a few things you will need to know before I start this story. My ex brother-in-law, John, had some mental issues. His mental age was much younger than his physical age. John was a smoker. He wore darker colored clothes with chains hanging off of them. So he looked scary and he smelled yucky from the smoking. Another thing is that in our kitchen there were two sinks. One on the counter and another on the island in the middle of the kitchen. The one on the island had a drinking fountain on it and that is why it was placed there.

My cousins, the Gulls, were in town from St. George for something and they were staying at my house. I had a lot of friends over and my cousins had just arrived. We were all gathered around the island, in the kitchen, talking when John came upstairs and into the kitchen. As soon as he walked in, the feeling in the room became very uncomfortable and everybody quieted down. I said, "Hi John" and he said, "Hi" in return. We all started talking again, trying to ignore the uncomfortable feeling in the room. John walked over to the counter that was in the island. He said,"I cut myself" as he turned on the water in the sink. I looked over and saw that his finger was bleeding. He held his finger out and stuck it under the running water in the sink. Then, without warning, he lifted his finger out of the water and shook it! The room was suddenly silent and all eyes were looking at John, in disgust. John seemed to be completely oblivious to everybody standing around watching him. Little blood splatters landed all over on the counter and in the sink. John put his bloody finger back under the running water in the sink and a few seconds later, took it out and shook it again. Then he did it all again. So, a total of three times he took his bloody finger out of the water and shook it. There were blood splatters everywhere. After he shook his bloody finger one last time, he used his hand (with the bloody finger!) to turn off the water at the sink and left blood on the handle. Then he walked over to the refrigerator, dripping blood on the floor as he walked. He used his bloody finger hand to open the refrigerator and get a plate of food out. He set the plate of food on the counter and grabbed the rest of the items he needed to eat his meal. Then he picked up his plate and started to walk toward the stairs. Everyone seemed to be relieved that he was leaving. But, before he left the kitchen he paused and set his plate down. Then he walked behind everybody sitting on the stools at the kitchen island. None of the people sitting on the stools dared to turn their heads and look at him. He stopped behind my friend, Jenny Springman, and used his bloody finger to poke her in the back and say, "You're Gertrude!". Then he picked up his plate and went downstairs. Everybody in the room was in shock! They couldn't believe what they had just seen. Jenny of course was freaking out and asking everyone to tell her if there was blood on her shirt.

After he was downstairs, I apologized to everybody and cleaned up the mess. It was the craziest thing ever. I know it was disgusting, but it was so shocking and the look on every body's faces were so funny. I laugh so hard every time I tell this story.

I know John poking Jenny in the back and calling her "Gertrude" seems a little random, but it was not. That was how John teases. He always would come up to Jenny and me, poke us, and call us "Gertrude". He would also say things like, "I saw you outside last night when everybody was asleep. You did a flip off of the roof." Or if you were making some food, he would poke you and say, "Are you going to put anchovies on that? oh...no...uh...you were probably going to put peanut butter and anchovies.......you like to eat peanut butter and achovies....uh......you like to eat peanut butter and anchovy sandwiches......I saw you eat that before........uh.......you ate a peanut butter and anchovy sandwich after you did a triple flip off the roof last night." He would poke us a few times while he was saying all of that. Then he would laugh and walk out of the room.